Nearly Headless Nick
by Dominique the Author
Summary: Random one-shots and drabbles about everyone's favorite ghost. Unless you're really weird and like Moaning Myrtle better.  Hopefully more to come. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own pretty much nothing. I went on J.K.'s website and found this song was n edited scene, but I thought that it deserved its place in the books. I tried to fit this as closely to the book as I could, so anything in italics is Rowling's exact words, taken either from the book, or her website.**

"_That does look good," said the ghost in the ruff sadly, watching Harry cut up his steak._

"_Can't you-?"_

"_I haven't eaten for nearly four hundred years," said the ghost. "I don't need to, of course, but one does miss it. I don't think I've introduced myself? Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington at your service. Resident ghost of Gryffindor Tower."_

"_I know who you are!" said Ron suddenly. "My brother's told me about you—you're Nearly Headless Nick!"_

"_I would prefer you to call me Sir Nicholas de Mimsy—" the ghost began stiffly, but sandy-haired Seamus Finnigan interrupted._

"_Nearly headless? How can you be nearly headless?"_

Sir Nicholas looked delighted. The smiles on anyone over first year were suddenly plastered on their face. Nick took up an impressive looking pose, and began to somberly sing.

_**It was a mistake any wizard could make**_

_**Who was tired and caught on the hop**_

_**One piffling error, and then, to my terror,**_

_**I found myself facing the chop.**_

_**Alas for the eve when I met Lady Grieve **_

_**A-strolling the park in the dusk!**_

_**She was of the belief I could straighten her teeth**_

_**Next moment she'd sprouted a tusk.**_

Students began to giggle at the overly dramatic ghost. At first he _looked extremely miffed, as if his little song wasn't going at all the way he wanted,_ but then he took advantage of the giggles. His tone changed, and his song became comical.

_**I cried through the night that I'd soon put her right **_

_**But the process of justice was lax;**_

_**They'd brought out the block, though they'd mislaid the rock**_

_**Where they usually sharpened the axe.**_

_**Next morning at dawn, with a face most forlorn,**_

_**The priest said to try not to cry,**_

"_**You can come just like that, no, you won't need a hat,"**_

_**And I knew that my end must be nigh.**_

_**The man in the mask who would have the sad task**_

_**Of cleaving my head from my neck,**_

_**Said "Nick, if you please, will you get to your knees,"**_

_**And I turned to a gibbering wreck.**_

"_**This may sting a bit" said the cack-handed twit**_

_**As he swung the axe up in the air,**_

_**But oh the blunt blade! No difference it made,**_

_**My head was still definitely there.**_

_**The axe man he hacked and he whacked and he thwacked,**_

"_**Won't be too long," he assured me,**_

_**But quick it was not, and the bone-headed clot**_

_**Took forty-five goes 'til he floored me.**_

_**And so I was dead, but my faithful old head**_

_**It never saw fit to desert me,**_

_**It still lingers on, that's the end of my song,**_

_**And now, please applaud, or you'll hurt me. **_

The laughter and applause filled the Great Hall as Nick _seized his left ear and pulled. His whole head swung off is neck and fell onto his shoulder as if it was on a hinge. Looking pleased at the stunned looks on their faces, Nearly Headless Nick flipped his head back onto his neck, coughed, and said…_

**It was kind of tricky to fit together, but I think that I did okay. Hoped that you liked it! Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**This takes place as Harry is going to die in the seventh book. Those that have read it will recognize it. Once again, most of these are J.K. Rowling's exact words.**

_He closed his eyes and turned the stone over in his hand three times._

_He knew it had happened, because he heard the slight movements around him that suggested frail bodies shifting their footing on the earthy, twig-strewn ground that marked the outer edge of the forest. He opened his eyes and looked around._

_He was surrounded by the ghosts of Hogwarts._

_Nick was exactly the same height as Harry. He was wearing the clothes in which he had died, and his was tidy, and his head was a little lopsided, like Mr. Weasly's._

_The Grey Lady was tall and beautiful, and young. She loped with an easy grace, her hands clasped in front of her, and a small smile on her face._

_The Fat Friar was younger too, and much less fat, and his hair was exactly the same. He looked confused to be back in this unfamiliar place, where he had never wandered in his youth. _

_Moaning Myrtle's smile was the widest of all. She pushed her pigtails back as she drew close to him, and her blue eyes, so unlike his, searched his face hungrily, as though she would never be able to look at him enough._

"_You've been so-"_

Harry interrupted. "I thought I was going to get to see my parents, and Sirius and Lupin! What the bloody hell are you all doing here?"

"Well," Nick answered, "We_ are_ dead, so the resurrection stone can work on us, and everyone else was busy. There's this great party going on in the afterlife… Anyway, once you die, we'll never see you again, seeing how we can't die, but you can see the rest of them as much as you want. Now let's get back to the parody."

"_You've been so brave."_

_He could not speak. His eyes feasted on her, and he thought that he would like to stand and look at her forever, and that would be enough._

"_You are nearly there," said Nick. "Very close. We are…so proud of you."_

"_Does it hurt?"_

_The childish question had fallen from Harry's lips before he could stop it._

"_Dying? Of course it does! Do you think that all those axe strokes are painless!" said Nick. "Uh, I mean quicker and easier than falling asleep."_

"_And he will want it to be quick. He wants it over. The same way the Bloody Baron wanted me dead." Said The Gray Lady._

"_Well, I never knew any of you when you were alive, so I can't really say that I wish you hadn't died… This is awkward. Let's just skip ahead a bit._

"_You'll stay with me?"_

"_Until the very end." Said James._

"_They won't be able to see you?"_

"_Well, yeah, but it's not like they can do anything to us; we're already dead." Said Nick._

_Harry looked at Moaning Myrtle._

"_Stay close to me," he said quietly._

_A thud and a whisper: some other living creature had stirred close by. Harry stopped under the Cloak, peering around, listening, and Nick, the Gray Lady, the Fat Friar, and Moaning Myrtle stopped too._

"_Someone there," came a rough whisper close at hand. "Hey look! It's a bunch of ghosts! This is weird…"_

_Yeah._

**These are kinda fun to write, sort of like mad libs…**

**Please Review.**


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